Sunday, September 23, 2012

from the stupid are you?? can u cross the street by yourself????

 Waiter: “hey chef, the guest says the tuna tartare’ is too rare ”
me: “Cuenca, gimme my knife…what table?”
Cuenca: “no way chef”
waiter: “table 31 chef”
 so I leave the kitchen with 28 tickets on order and one cook short for service (Jose Luis was on a plane to Guadalajara to attend his abuelitas funeral, I bought his tickets, he was one of my best guys and I loved that kid like my own son), I make my way to table 31..
And with a fake smile I say: “yes ma’am is everything ok?”
her: “ the tartare is too rare can you make me another one medium?”
me: “uh.. yea, uh tartare means raw, why didn’t you inquire with your server about the dish?”
her: ”well my friend ordered it and said it was really good, so I did too”
me: “did you taste it?”
her: “no, humans aren’t supposed to eat raw fish” 
me: “oh maybe Japan didn’t get that memo, you do understand that people were eating meat and fish for thousands of years before they discovered FIRE… DON’T YOU?????”
her: “what are you going to do?”
me: ”im going to go back to my now SLAMMED kitchen and help my guys get out of the weeds you put us in, while I enjoy eating your delicious tartare’ with a glass of Muscadet” …
her: ”what about me?” 
Me: “you? Oh, you mean your tuna?  I’m pretty sure the tuna you are looking for is made by Starkist, its good with a little celery and mayo!!!!” BYE!

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