Wednesday, September 26, 2012

from the book: you are fucking joking right?


            Bring in food to a restaurant – some kinda chutzpah it takes to bring in your own food to save money.. a ham sandwich wrapped in foil? REALLY??  
ME:“excuse me miss, you cant bring in outside food, im sorry”  
HER: “I keep kosher and cant eat from your kitchen, but my friend im meeting loves this place”
ME: “now im not the Lubavitch Rebbe, but im pretty sure that ham isn’t kosher” 
HER: “ok ill eat it fast”
ME:”can I at least get you a cocktail or a glass of wine?” 
HER: “no, but you can bring me a warmed mug that I can pour my starbucks into?” are you joking?

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